Longing

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Fragile Being

The day that this angel was born was probably one of the happiest days of my life. Words can not describe how much I love him, nor how much I miss him all the time. Baby Ahmed has brought so much joy to my life. He’s almost six months old today. Goes to Najla, the baby mama♡

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ripped pages

I have the worst habit of ripping pages out of such beautiful notebooks. I don’t rip out blank pages though, it’s usually the pages that I don’t like; the pages that I don’t want to see again. It bothers me when a certain page isn’t in harmony with the other pages. Then I realized, that it’s more than just notebook pages… it happens on a much bigger scale.

In my mind, I dispose of things. I dispose of words that hurt, memories that ache and people that associate with negative thoughts. I used to think ripping pages out was a problem, until now. Why should I hold on to things that I don’t want? Why should I keep things that have no positive impact upon me? Why is it a bad thing that I wish for harmony? Why do I have to remember? Why do I have to clutter my mind? Why should I add to the weight on my shoulders? I don’t have to. I don’t want to.

Years of accumulated unfortunate experiences and tragic events take parts of us away. I cherish all that has happened, in the end, all the people we met, all the things we did, all that was good and all that was bad, all that we like and all that we hate, all that the smiles and all the cries, that’s what make us who we are. We are influenced by so many things and people and events that pass us by every single day; I believe choosing what to keep from them is a level of self-discipline and a way which I choose to cope. I like it the way I want it to be, I like it to be harmonious.